For The Family Man....Fighting Is Good...What?

I might occasionally throw something up here that relates to the fathers out there. Being a father, I know the ups and downs that relationships with both the children and the spouse develop. So if there is something out there that has enlightened me, I will gladly share it.

Before having kids my relationship was just as it is now, but with a lot less responsibility. The old lady, as I will call her, is the type that grew up strong minded and independent and that leaves me in the shadows at times.

You might think that having children would change her sense of independence since we would depend on each other a lot more. But it did not. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, " No change in circumstances can repair a defect of character." Not that she is damaged goods or anything, but I try hard to be that alpha male figure towards my relationship and towards my two great boys, respectfullly. I try hard to give 110% towards my family.

She also has that alpha female stigma. So we clash like bonded titans.

There are myths going around that certain behaviors such as going to bed angry or even fighting in front of the children is bad for the relationship.

But there is more good news than saving money by switching to GEICO®. In an article by Fernanda Moore of Parenting.com she gives hope by dispelling some of these myths.

" Myth: Never go to bed angry

"It sounds reasonable -- why risk letting a fight smolder overnight only to flare up again the next day? Better to resolve things, sleep soundly, and start fresh.

"What we say: Just agree to disagree until morning -- especially if it's midnight, there's no resolution in sight, and you're dying on the vine. After all, not every argument comes with a built-in time limit."

" Myth: Don't fight in front of the kids"

"When moms and dads fight, it's scary. Babies can tell when you're angry (and will probably get upset) and bigger kids will worry that the two of you are on the verge of a divorce."

"What we say: It can be valuable for children to see their parents work through a disagreement with good will. Kids also need to learn that even people who love each other don't get along perfectly. "It's unrealistic to expect no conflict," says Smith. "If you never have a difference of opinion with your spouse, then you've obviously found someone who agrees with everything you think. How boring!"

"In other words, it's fine -- even healthy -- for kids to witness your arguments. But there are caveats. (Aren't there always?) "When you argue in front of your kids, it's important to fight fair," says Reivich. "Instead of shouting 'You're a lazy slob!' say 'It really bothers me when you don't take out the trash.' Take issue with the action, not the person, and don't hurl insults." So if the fight is too intense, or there's no resolution in sight, table it until the kids aren't around."

These are only a few of the myths discussed in this article. You can read more at
http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/family/01/29/par.parenting.myths/index.html.