For The Bachelor.... Burp For Fame....And Money

With all the talk of the great athletes that were breaking world records left and freakin' right at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, I thought it might be appropriate to bust out a different sort of World Record. One that might give hope to the bachelor.

Meet Paul Hunn of London, England. He is the man that discovered a hidden talent that might otherwise be labeled impolite or obnoxious. Or in the case of some countries around the world as applause toward the chef. Quite the opposite.

Burp!

It is definitely one of those things that all men have in common. Embracing the inevitable build up of gases as they travel harmoniously upward only to explode with harnessed musical energy. Beautiful. Even as children we sat around the lunch table with awe and appreciation for little Billy's talents as he belched the alphabet aloud. Beautiful.

Some might say as beautiful as world record setting races or games. Standing among the fastest and the strongest is..... the loudest.

Paul set this outrageous Guiness World Record for belching in 2000. His current best stands at an earpiercing 118.1 dB. !. I guess that's louder than a chain saw or even as loud as a jet engine on takeoff. And one hell of a way to tell the cook how good his food was.

Let's put that into perspective. If you were at a rock concert with Mr. Hunn and were indulging in carbonated alcoholic beverages at the time. And let's say he happened to burp midway through the second verse of the already deafening song. There is a good chance you would hear it a couple of feet away. That is crazy. Try it yourself and tell me if you can even feel anything.

So burp away bachelors. You might one day find yourself atop the list of competitive burpers. Or even giving Paul a run for his money. Try getting a head start by watching this Paul Hunn School of Burps training vid. Haha. And if you can't be the loudest maybe you can be the best. Submit a video to BurpForFame.com and you can win the title as well as $500. Easy money.

Chick Pic....Regina Deutinger

Birthdate: September 17, 1982
Birth Location: Munich, Germany
Measurements: 37-25-37
Height: 5ft 9in
Weight: 127 lbs
Eyes: Green
Hair: Blonde

Alright so I figure I can span the earth looking for the nicest ladies to admire. And thank God for the internet.

So we go to Germany. Regina has actually worked the Oktoberfest for the last three years. She was the April, 2008 Playmate and deservedly so. You can find jaw-dropping pictures that involve beer being poured all over the place. Yes! This chick is freakin' awesome.

As far as the body goes. It is clearly one of the nicest on the planet. But don't take my word for it. I suggest finding out for yourself. As for her face. I can't help but salivate watching her magnificent mouth speak German. While holding my beer for me. Check out this video and see for yourself.

The Olympic Games Need Foosball!

Seriously folks. With athletes that exhibit unbelievable physical ability there is always explosive reactions and powerful movements. With athletes that exhibit unbreakable focus and determination there are crazy reflexes and never-ending drive.

The likes of Michael Phelps and his awe inspiring swimming abilities make him a god amongst men. The blur that is Usain Bolt and his tremendous speed along with an ironic last name make him the modern day Achilles.

But what about Joe? Average or Shmoe. It doesn't matter. What about an athlete that is easier to relate to? A guy that just decided to become dedicated to something other than keeping his balance while at the pub. A guy that has natural ability coupled with mongoose-like reflexes, but couldn't jump a hurdle to save his life.

There must be something added to the Olympics that gives us hope. Badminton and ping pong are close, but not close enough. I am talking about foosball.

Foosball is the perfect international sport that relates to the same demographic. It deserves a spot in the almighty Olympics as a palette cleanser if you will. A change in pace to see an American Best Buy clerk take on a comic book store owner in Thailand. These are competitive men just the same and someone needs to help them prove their worth in the Olympic games of the future. Right? Well actually there just might be. Heres a tidbit from Wikipedia telling how,

"In 2002, the International Table Soccer Federation (ITSF) was established in France with the mission of promoting the sport of Table Soccer as an organizing sports body, regulating international competitions, and establishing the game with the International Olympic Committee (IOC) as an officially recognized Olympic sport."

I hope there is hope for foosball. There is already a World Championships, but I would love to see it in the big show. So come on foos fans, show your support and check out everything foos at the official website of the ITSF at Table-Soccer.org.

Man Tech....Horseshoes Scoreboard

Sometimes the simplest of technologies are what make men feel the most sophisticated. And we all know that simple means easy. Which is also a favorite of words shared by men everywhere.

So on that note....does anyone else have a brother or certain relative that can make the easiest or simplest thing harder than it has to be?

My brother can't play nice. He insists on insisting. He believes strongly that he is more aware of the activity in which he is involved than anyone around him. And is usually just the opposite. What would normally be resolved with easy communication is suddenly an argue-fest. And he is usually wrong. There must be a way to end these needless spats. A helpful devise?

Scoreboards.

A visual explanation of how the game is going. No more bickering over the actual score or having to explain precisely how you are up five more points. Scenario, a lovely game of horseshoes.

Check this baby out from a company called ScoreTower. It's a combo scoreboard slash beer holder! Check out how to buy it at Buyzillion.com. And now for a minor description,

* Provides players and spectators with game score
* Drink holder holds cans, bottles, coozies, and mugs
* Includes 5 Color-coded ScoreClamps to match your team's colors
* Stands a convenient 54" tall when in use
* Rugged Stake easily pushes into ground using just your foot

And there we have it. No more explainations or confrontations. Just good fun and scorekeeping. So make the ancient game of horseshoes or whatever game you must and argue about who's drinking your booze and not the score.

Check out some sweet horseshoe sets here. And if you're the type that plays late into the night, check out these glow in the dark shoes and stakes.Well, of course then you won't be able to see the scoreboard.

Mankind 101....Beards or Mustaches

There are definite characteristics that make men considerably more admirable. More alpha. More Manly.

Take John Holmes for instance. Name one man that wouldn't want a trait like that. And we know old Long John felt a bit more manly because of it. Well, besides his later career that kinda took a turn for the darker and less hetero side of his industry.

Enough trash talking I suppose. But what other characteristics make men more savvy and sophisticated than the next guy?

Broad shoulders, big nose, callused extremities? Or how about hairy backs and chests, missing fingers, beards or mustaches. Yes!

Beards.

Some men have goofy cuts of crap while others have perfectly sculpted face warmers. A beard can be a man's identity. It represents strength and wisdom. In some cases it defines a man. Like Grizzly Adams, ZZ Top, Ernest Hemmingway, Karl Marx and even Poseidon. Most of which are commemorated at the NationalBeardRegistry.org. Yep, there's a registry for beards.

Mustaches

Sports stars are also well known for their hairy faces. Even their beautiful examples of hairy upper lips. In fact there is a review of the 11 Greatest Mustaches in NFL History. You could imagine the terror of facing such a display of manitude on the face of Walter Payton. He's number 9. And what about M.J.'s nice little stache. Also, special thanks to Hitler and Salvador Dali for showing what isn't considered acceptable.

So whether or not you carry a proud goatee, mutton chops, or van dyke you can walk tall knowing that the guy that shaves is just one step behind in the growing race of magnificence.

Plus that guy might think you're a biker or even the Jesus reincarnate. Then they give you their money and possibly his wife. Bulletproof.

For Every Man....The Perfect Couch

Herodotus once said, "If a man insisted always on being serious, and never allowed himself a bit of fun and relaxation, he would go mad or become unstable without knowing it."

Well I don't exactly know who Herodotus is or was, but that mofo is right. We need to relax. We need more time being comfortable and worry free. If most guys out there are like me, then they rush to get everything done and then try to find time to unwind. And we all have our favorite places to take it easy around the house. None of which is a floor. Nope. It's something soft and pliable that molds to our aching bodies. Like.....a couch.

Man's favorite resting place. One of a few places that our bodies and minds are forced to adapt to. But in the end, we become one with our gravity reducing and perfectly assembled sack of wood and fiber. So is there a groovy alternative to our stereotypical sofa. I think there might be.

I believe it is called the Micama. And I also believe it is made in Sweden by a woman named Francesca Donati. I'm thinkin' she works for a company called Adero. Of course, I am only fluent in one language and it isn't anything close to northern european languages. So please forgive me for being ignorant. But anyway. The Micama is a completely different take on relaxation.

After getting over our manly inhibitions. We might be able to accept this somewhat fruity piece of furniture as a loin lounging alternative. I would. This thing looks like it could make Fat Albert as light as air. It bends, folds, wraps and twists to form any sort of getaway fantasy your heart desires. If I could read the gibberish on the website, I would tell you what it was made of. But it looks like it is made of pure comfort.

A negative might be that daddy's little getaway will be turned into every combination of fort after stylish fort by the kids. I would've straight abused that sh*t as a kid. I was a fort building masta. Yet a plus side might actually counter balance the negative. Maybe the fact that the entire Kama Sutra just got a whole lot more interesting.

Check our some pics at there website here, and drop me a line if you can translate.

Sweet Ride....Custom Golf Carts

Golf is seriously one of my most treasured past times. Nothing fulfills my inner necessities like topping or slicing an easy par four tee-off. Or missing a 3 foot birdie put that would have made up for that bogey on the last hole that should never have happened.

And then you come to the realization that your last $3 beer is about gone. Partly because you drink more when frustrated, and partly because the 1973 Silverstream golf cart slash rust bucket rattles your can over seemingly smooth terrain. Is it just me or is that bullsh*t. Not to mention my not-so-new clubs smacking against each other making each other even more not-so-new. Or the countless balls and tees or whatever valuables have bounced out over the years.

I freakin love golf!

Enough ranting already. There are options. Walking not being one of them. Since the old lady doesn't want to hold my beer for me anymore. Apparently the cooler is two heavy to lug around for 18 holes. I try telling her that it only gets lighter as the game goes on. But she doesn't listen.

Custom golf carts.

To the tune of.....a little out of my budget. But I shall dream. Because it makes me feel better. I feel rich in my dreams. I have everything there. It's nice. But seriously these third scale rough riders come in all sorts of pretty sweet models. Try Cadillac Escalades, H2 Hummers, Jeeps, Bentleys and even Roadsters. Most are tricked to the max like the Berline LS sold by Berline.

"Two-tone upholstery, chrome steering wheel, micro-sized rear-view mirrors, modified dash and rear seats, modified interior floor panel, chrome exterior paint, modified golf bag, and, of course, Falken low profile tires and alloy wheels."

Nothing about beer spill proof shocks!? She's got a Club Car IQ 48 Volt motor that pushes her to an eye watering 19.5 mph and 9.0 mph in reverse. Not to shabby. And did I mention it starts at a low low price of $13,495. Haha, thats like $700 per mph. Yeah and thats cheaper than a lot of other customs out there.

So I guess I will have to settle for the clubhouse special, but I'll live with it. And If I see one of these customs pull up bumping a stereo while I'm trying to make up for hole eight. There will be a six iron through their custom windshield. Insurance. With hail damage coverage?

Check out some others at BadAssGolfCarts.com